Swinging may not be a lifestyle you are familiar with, or even know that it is called a lifestyle at all. For me swinging is much more than just about sex. Sex is a big part of the lifestyle, but it is truly about being free to indulge. Free to be yourself and not just to rock the boat or say FU to societal norms, but because it allows you to be the best version of yourself with your partner. My books about swinging are hopefully going to give you some insight into what the lifestyle and the choices people make who participate it in are really all about. The goal maybe different for every couple or single person in the lifestyle. The one thing everyone has in common is a desire to be free. Free Yourself & Join US! This is the motto for my books and nothing is off limits. While this is fiction, this is also a big part of what you should take away when forming an opinion about the lifestyle.
The first question people always ask me about swinging is “isn’t that like cheating on your spouse?” My answer is absolutely not, in fact it’s the opposite of cheating. We are allowed to explore our fantasies in an open and safe environment, without judgement from each other or the other people who may be involved, or even just watching. Being with someone you are in love with is all about trust and communication. Something that is also critical in an approach to the lifestyle.
Wanting to be with the person you are madly in love with for the rest of your life, does not mean your desire to be turned on should be limited to that one person. They complete you and they turn you on, and they are enough. You are able to participate in the lifestyle with your partner, and therefore never required to have secrets, or feel like you are cheating or have to hide natural human instincts. The desire you have for other men or women or to explore your own sexual interests doesn’t ever stop growing and changing, so why wouldn’t you and your partner want to nurture and help it grow? You should want to have a partner who trusts the love and bond you have together over any sexual acts that may involve other people. Some people have told me they look at the sex partners they have as like “human sex toys that don’t require batteries.” Meaning they are there to serve a similar purpose and, sure they may become friends with some of them and enjoy the freedom of their company, but in the end they can always be happy with what they have at home.
Lifestyle couples often discuss how much their own sex lives and overall relationship improves after starting the adventure into swinging. Swinging takes away all the stress, and fears you may have about being open and honest with not only your own spouse, but also other people. Once you have been naked with or in the vicinity of other people what else do you have left to hide. Once you have had sex with another person, and seen them do the same, there is nothing left to fear. The freedom of multiple sexual partners, can only enhance your own strong sexual and relationship bonds. Maybe you have a particular thing your partner doesn’t enjoy? Or maybe you have other special fantasies involving same sex relations, or multiple partners, that the swinging lifestyle could afford you? Without having to give up any of the wonderful aspects you hold precious in your daily life, this is a great option to letting you explore those. Society may not understand the concept. Truth be told, swinging and a lack of monogamy have been a part of cultures all over the world for thousands of years. Bringing it back into the mainstream today is only a partial return to those ways in our culture. In other nations the rules of monogamy are very different than they are here in the United States, and because of this they have lower divorce rates, better quality of life, and overall partners express a much higher level of sexual satisfaction with their partners.
The bottom line is this: Being with someone else sexually does not have to detract from your relationship. In fact, if done correctly and with open and honest communication, it will absolutely give you the option to improve both your relationship and your sexual adventures. Which will in turn improve your quality of life across all aspects, with your sexual satisfaction just becoming a very sweet extra bonus.
Enjoy your time together, and don’t be afraid to discuss your personal sexual desires with your partner, you might be surprised by how open they could be to trying something new with you. Hope you enjoyed my thoughts on this lifestyle, get some insight, and ultimately doing what works best for you!
J.W. Snootz has been writing since elementary school, never learning to print as a child, and having to learn cursive writing inspired me to write a lot as a youth. Writing my first novella at only 10, and staying in the 100 page realm for a long time, finally creating more elaborate stories was possible. Growing up all over the Midwest and traveling extensively you will always find some truth in all the stories I write.
I feel the best stories should always include some parts of yourself, even if it is just in your characters or places they visit. Chicago has always been home, and the windy city certainly lends itself to the indoor activity of writing in the winter. In the warmer months you can find me with my family all of us out enjoying the beach along with the great experiences and culture the city offers.
I love to write in a variety of different genres and enjoy reading a lot of different story types as well. I also love to hear from and interact with the fans and other authors so always feel free to say hi and share your thoughts. “My motto is, if you don’t like the truth then don’t make it the truth!
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