“What are you doing?” I asked my
voice coming out in a breathy whisper.
“Tasting you.” He groaned sucking
me off his fingers. Oh. My.
“Is that supposed to turn me on?”
My stare glued to his mouth.
“Aw, shit baby don’t talk like
that, or I’ll say forget this self-restraint bullshit and take you against this
“What if I want you too?” I
gripped his belt buckle forcing him back against me.
“Fuck, Vanessa, don’t tell me
that.” He groaned resting his forehead against mine.
“Why, Diesel? Don’t you want me?”
My audacity, I justified, was coming from the orgasm he just gave me.
“Of course I fuckin’ want you,
I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you, but I’m not takin’ you against
this wall. When I make you mine, it’ll be on a bed while I slowly peel off your
clothes. When I can cherish and devour this perfect body of yours because
that’s what you deserve, Vanessa, and not a quick fuck against a wall, you
deserve to be made love to.” My heart tugged even though getting fingered
outside against the wall was very, uh, unromantic, having him say things like
that made me trust him and want him even more.
“Okay.” I replied.
“Okay.” He agreed, “I want to
dance with you.” He said taking my hand we began walking towards the inside of
the house. Which made me wonder why he was here to begin with.
“Wait, why are you here?” I said
pulling him back.
“I was invited.” He replied
tightening the hold on my hand.
“By who?” Diesel slowed he turned
to look at me.
“The girl I was playing beer pong
with.” Oh. Oh! He came with another girl a girl he probably already slept with
or was going to have sex with. Which made me feel cheap, and then I remembered
I had a boyfriend, which made me even feel worse. What was I doing? This wasn’t
like me. I wasn’t this girl. Pulling my hand out of his grasp I
hugged myself before speaking.
“I have to find Mallory, I’m not
feeling to well.” I said walking away from him.
“Vanessa, no wait. It’s not what
you’re thinkin’. I just needed a distraction I need somethin’ to do than to
think about you all day.” He said curling his hand around my arm to stop me.
“You mean someone to
do.” I said yanking my arm free.
“You have a boyfriend, what am I
supposed to do, Vanessa?” He loved to remind me.
“I know okay! I know I have a
boyfriend.” I covered my face frustrated that I did. Ashamed that I just let
Diesel do that to me, while there was still Stellen in the picture.
“I want to be with you, and it
sure as hell seems you want to be with me. So, cut that chump loose so we can
“It’s not that easy, Diesel. You
don’t understand.” I sighed my hands falling to my sides. Diesel looked at me
in defeat, “fuck,” he sighed rubbing is face. “Give me a call when it gets
easy.” Diesel walked away, and worse yet, I let him.